Thoughts on Gay Marriage

This week, the President of the United States came out in public support of gay marriage... to much controversy and support and disapproval. If you've been around a minute, you know that commentary on anything political is an extremely rare occurrence for me... it's time for an occurrence.

I have a number of thoughts on the subject, but before I do, let me answer the accusation, "You Christians make these judgements, and you don't even know any gay people." Seriously?  I do.  I know several, both men and women.  Not only do I know people who are, but some of them I call "friend" in the truest sense of the word... even to the closeness of feeling more like family.  So let me approach this not as a random, faceless subject, but with this scenario: what if one of my close friends, who happens to be gay, wanted to enter the covenant relationship of legal marriage, only to be told that what they desire is impossible and illegal?

#1 - my heart breaks for my friend.  To be told "your love doesn't count" must be one of the most painful things to hear anyone say to you.  I understand experiencing confusing feelings; I know what it's like to lose control of your heart & emotions; and I completely understand what a broken heart does to a person, but I can't imagine the trauma experienced in having your society tell you, "you're not allowed to love who you love... at least not legally."  In all honesty, the first thing that comes to my mind is that I want to give my friend a hug, sit down beside them and let them cry (if they want) and just listen. Just listen... if I could hear their words over the sound of my own heart breaking.

#2 - I have wrestled with what the Bible says about this a lot.  I could quote all the same Scripture passages that everyone always does (Romans 1 comes to mind).  After challenging everything I was taught as "right and wrong" as a child, and seeking to own some idea of what truth is for myself (meaning not just believing what I was taught to believe, but actually looking for the "why" of those beliefs), I cannot help but accept that truth is this thing that alludes so many of us.  This is because truth is something that is the way it is regardless of how I feel or what I think, which today is a very counter-cultural way of thinking.  My feelings and my thoughts do not make a thing or an idea true.  So, while the breaking of my heart is cacophonic for my friend, my understanding of the Creator God and the Bible is that homosexual physical relationships are not His plan nor His will.

#3 - Reconciling what we feel and what we know is difficult.  I agree that homosexual practice separates one from God's plan for creation (OK, so the word is "sin" but can we really use it in love?).  I also agree that nothing - absolutely nothing - can separate any of us from God's love.  Yes, God's way is to love me even if I decide the Creator's way isn't really the way I want to go.  And all of this is maybe an attempt to dig out a really deep cancer on our society - selfishness.  Selfishness is neither straight nor gay - it goes both ways.  And the President's recent statement is wrapped up in a re-election campaign that is un-apologetically aimed at the largest generation in history (those born between 1980-2000).

#4 - All of this "us vs. them" language doesn't do anyone any good.  My Christian friends, my brothers and my sistahs... please stop being so full of fear.  Please trust the God and the Messiah that you say you have faith in.  Unless we unlearn this fear, we will never learn to truly love others as Jesus Himself does (and vote!)   And to my LGBT friends, please don't let our differences of opinion stifle a much needed conversation.  Please don't judge me as judgmental just because I say I believe the Bible.  The Bible says that God's love for you is crazy awesome.  Please don't let the perceived voice of the church turn you away from that seeking heart that beats within you for truth.  Keep seeking, keep searching, and some point give the Bible a chance - not to prove you're right or I'm right... not to prove anything.  Just read it because there is a Creator God that wants to spend time with you through those pages.

And to my truly close friends that this conversation affects so personally:  I love you no matter what!


don pearson said…
much appreciared outlook and compassion as i aslo see it way that must be thru GODS love and mine as i also not only have friends but a family member as well that we communicale and explore the matter with respect and love tks steve don .
Angelo Gonzalez said…
Spot on- I will not add to it, because-less is truly more.
Unknown said…
I kinda agree. God wants a relationship with us all. I can't judge anyone unless i want to to judge myself. Were all going face God one day.
Anonymous said…
My pastor, my buddy, my friend, good stuff. You spoke of "The Truth" I believe the only absolute truth is the Voice of the Spirit. Jesus is the voice of the spirit. Jesus said " I am the way, THE TRUTH, and the life. If we ask Him, He will speak to us and tell us how to live in every area of our lives, including our sexuality. Im not anyone's judge, but Jesus is! There are areas of my life where I have a long way to go, but if I ask Him to help me He is faithful to lead and guide me as well as forgive. He loves us, ALL OF US, and He just wants us to love Him back!

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